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走进孩子内心 共创幸福人生

第二届“木铎心声”心理健康教育高峰论坛观察

发布时间:2019-11-21 作者:本报记者 杨咏梅 来源:中国教育报

“TONGNIANCHIKUWEILAIJIUHUIXINGFUMA?TONGNIANYONGYOUXINGFUDEJIJITIYANYOUSHENMEJIAZHI?”“YAOXIXINHEHUHAIZIDETIANXING,KUANRONGHAIZIDEHEFALINGLEI。”“JIENAHAIZIDECHAYI,ZAIXIWEICHUKANJIANSHENGMINGDEZHENGUI。”“TANSUOHAIZINEIXINSHI,QINGYIZHIZHUZIJIDEQUANZHIQUANNENGGAN”……JINRI,YOUBEIJINGSHIFANDAXUEXINLIJIANKANGYUJIAOYUYANJIUSUOFAQIDEDIERJIE“MUDUOXINSHENG”XINLIJIANKANGJIAOYUGAOFENGLUNTANZAIZHONGQINGSHINANANQUJUBAN,LAIZIMEI、RI、HAN、TAIDENGGUODEXUEZHEHEHAIXIALIANGANDUOSUOGAOXIAODEZHUANJIA,WEIRAO“ZOUJINHAIZINEIXIN CHUANGZAOXINGFURENSHENG”DEZHUTI,XIANGLAIZIQUANGUOGEDIDEJIN800MINGYUHUIZHEFENXIANGLEXINLIJIANKANGJIAOYUDEZUIXINYANJIUJINZHAN。NANANQUDE4SUOZHONGXIAOXUEZAIFENLUNTANZHANSHILEJICENGXINLIJIANKANGJIAOYUDESHIJIANCHENGGUO,SHENGDONGCHANSHILE“SHUXIANGNANAN XINGFUJIAOYU”DEDUOCAIYANGTAI。

    为什么是性格决定命运

“RENMENCHANGSHUOXINGGEJUEDINGMINGYUN,WEISHENMEBUSHINENGLIJUEDINGMINGYUN?”ZHONGGUORENMINGONGANDAXUELIMEIJINJIAOSHOULIEJULECHIKUNAILAO、QINLAO、RENNAI、JIANREN、NAICUO、XINXIONGDAQI、DAZHIRUOYU、LEYUZHUREN、SHANJIERENYIDENGZAISHENGHUOZHONGSHOUHUANYINGDEXINGGE,ZHICHUXINGGESHIHOUTIANXINGCHENGDESHEHUIXINGWEIFANGSHI,BINENGLIGENGZHONGYAO。“HAOXINGGESHIYANGCHULAIDE,ERYANGYUZAIJIATING,JIAOYUZAIXUEXIAO,JIAZHANGBUNENGBACHENGJIDANGCHENGHENGLIANGHAIZIJIAZHIDEZHUYAOBIAOZHUN。”

LAIZIMEIGUOYANGBAIHANDAXUEDEHATE(Craig H. Hart)JIAOSHOU,JUJIAOSHEJIAOJIQINGXUSHENGRENLIYUERTONGXINLIJIANKANGDEGUANXI,ZHICHUERTONGSHIQIQUEFASHEHUISHENGRENLI,HUIYINGXIANGDAOYIHOUDERENJIGUANXIHESHEHUIQINGGANFAZHAN。HATEGUANCHADAOERTONGYOUXIZHONGYOUXIEBEICHENGWEI“CHENMOGUAYAN、HAIXIUDEHAIZI”,YIZHIZAIJIAOLUOLIBANYANPANGGUANZHE,YAOYILING、JIAOSHOUZHI,ZHEIXIEJIAOLVJINZHANGDEZHITIDONGZUO,SHISHEJIAOKONGJUZHENGDEYALINEIZAIHUA,FAZHANHOUQIHUICHENGXIANCHUGUDU、FUMIANDEZIWORENZHI、YIYUDENGXINLIJIANKANGWENTI。

HATEFAXIANYOUYUZHONGGUOWENHUAGULIHAIZIQIANXU、ANJING、BAOSHOU、YOUXU,SUOYIZHONGGUOHAIZIBIMEIGUOHAIZIANJINGYIXIE,DAN“HAIXIUDECHENMOZHERONGYIBEITONGLINGRENJUJUE,RONGYICHENGWEIXIAOYUANBAOLIDESHOUHAIREN,ZHEIZAIZHONGMEIJIBENXIANGSI”。HATEZHICHU,GUODUBAOHUDE、QINRAOXINGDE、ZHIZEXINGDEJIATINGJIAOYU,DAOZHIHAIZIRENWEIZIJIMEIYOUSHEJIAOSHENGRENLI,ZHINENGRANGWENTIGENGYANZHONG。

HATEJIESHAOLETAMENYONGYOUXIDEFANGSHIJIAOHAIZISHEJIAOLIYIDE“WUGUIXIANGMU”,JIAOHAIZIGUANYUGANQINGHERENJIGUANXIDEJINENG,XUNLIANLAOSHIHEJIAZHANGJIANGDIGUODUBAOHU,JIANSHAOHAIXIUDEHAIZIDUITONGLINGRENDEKONGJU,JIANGDIYIYUHEJIAOLV,TIGAOHAIZIDEGANZHIJIQIAOHESHEJIAOSHENGRENLI。TONGSHI,HATEZHICHUHAIZIDETIREN、DAREN、WEIXIEDENGGONGJIPOHUAIXINGWEI,YEGENJIAOLV、YIYUDEQINGXUXIANGGUAN。“JIAZHANGSHIYONGZHITIGUANLIHAIZI,HUIDAOZHIHAIZIGENGDUODEGONGJIXINGWEI。”DANGHATEYONG“ZHITIGUANLI”MIAOSHU“DAHAIZI”SHI,HUICHANGXIANGQILEYIZHENXIAOSHENG。

LIMEIJINRENWEI,RENDEXINLIWENTIYIBANYISHANGSHIHOUTIANZAOJIUDE,HAIZIGUOYUCHENMOHAIXIU,YESHIYANGYUMOSHIZAOCHENGDE。FUMUYAOWEIHAIZICHUANGZAOFENGFUDEJINGLIHEJIYU,ZAIPEIBANZHONGGUANCHAHAIZIDEXINGQUSHISHENME、JINGCHANGZHUANZHUYUSHENME。“XIXINHEHUHAIZIDETIANXING,KUANRONGTADEHEFALINGLEI,GENGZHONGYAODESHIBAXUANZEQUANHAIJIHAIZI。”

GUANYUXUANZEQUANDEBAOGUI,LIMEIJINYINXIANGZUISHENDESHI,OUZHOUDECHAOSHIYOUDEJIDANBIPUTONGJIDANGUIDUOLE,FUWUYUANSHUO“NEISHIYOU‘JIQUAN’DEJIXIADEDAN!”“KANLAI,YOUXUANZEQUANDEDONGWU,XINLISHENGLIDOUGENGJIANKANG。BAXUANZEQUANJIAOJIHAIZI,QINZIFUYANG、PEIBANCHENGZHANG、GONGTONGZUOSHI、JINGCHANGLIAOTIAN、JIAXIAOGOUTONG,GENJUHAIZIDEZHILIHEXINGQU,FAXIANTADUTEDEFAZHANFANGXIANG,JIUNENGBANGZHUHAIZITUOZHANZIJIDEJIAZHI。”

    学习被简化为童年唯一的任务“万万要不得”

“DANGSHEHUIZHUYAOMAODUNBIANWEIRENMINRIYIZENGZHANGDEMEIHAOSHENGHUOXUYAOHEBUPINGHENGBUCHONGFENDEFAZHANZHIJIANDEMAODUNSHI,WOMENXUYAOSIKAO,XINGFUSHIYOUSHENMEJUEDINGDE?DANGRENMENYUELAIYUERENSHIDAOJINQIANDAILAIDEKUAILEYOUXIANSHI,WOMENXUYAOYUEGUOWAIZAIMANZUXIANGNEIKAN,SHISHENMESHIWOMENGANDAOXINGFU?”BEIJINGSHIFANDAXUEXINLIJIANKANGYUJIAOYUYANJIUSUOSUOZHANGBIANYUFANGJIAOSHOU,CONGJIJIXINLIXUEDESHIJIAO,FENXILERENJIGUANXIDAILAIDEGUISHUGAN、QINGXUDEBIAODAYUQINGSU、GANEN、SHENGHUOYOUGUILV、YUNDONG、YURENWEISHANJIZHURENWEILEDENGXINGFUGANDELAIYUAN。

BIANYUFANGTEBIEZHICHU,YANJIUXIANSHIQINGCHUNQI(10—16SUI)XINGFUGANJIANGDI,GENQINGSHAONIANQIANQUEZIZHUJUECEDEJIHUIYOUGUAN。TASHENYOUGANCHUDIHUYU:“RENSHENGDEMEIGEJIEDUANDOUYAOXINGFU,YOUDEJIAZHANGRENWEITONGNIANCHIKUWEILAICAIHUIXINGFU,ZHEISHIBUDUIDE!XUEXIBUSHITONGNIANWEIYIDERENWU,HAIZIDEXINLIXUQIUBEIDADAJIANHUA,BEIJIANHUADEZHISHENGXIAXUEXIZHEIYIJIANSHI,SHIWANWANYAOBUDEDE,TONGNIANDEJIAZHIYUANBUZHIYUZHIHUIXUEXI!”

RUHEBANGZHUHAIZIZHAODAOZIJIDEJIAZHI?LIMEIJINRENWEIWULUNHAIZIDETIANFURUHE,FUMUSHOUXIANYAOJIANXIN“TIANSHENGWOCAIBIYOUYONG”。“GUANJIANYAORANGHAIZIMINGBAI,RENDEJIAZHIBUZAIDAXIAO,GUANJIANZAIYUNENGFOUYISHIZIJIJIAZHISUOZAI,DAKEBAOGUO、XIAOKEBAOEN;JIAZHIBUZAIZHENGQIANDUOSHAO,ZAIYUNENGFOUBEIRENFAXIANHERENKE;JIAZHIBUZAIYUANJIN,ZAIYUSHIFOUDUITARENHUOSHEHUIYOUBANGZHU、YOUYIYI;JIAZHIBUZAIYISHI,ZAINULIZHONGYOUZENGYOUJIAN。”

ZHENDUIYOUXIEJIAZHANGRENWEI“HAIZIZHIGUANXUEXIJIUXING”,YIZHIYUTIYUYUYISHUZAIHAIZICHENGZHANGZHONGBEIDADAYASUODEJIATINGJIAOYUWUQU,BIANYUFANGTIXINGJIAZHANGBUNENGGUODUBAOHU、GUODUKONGZHI,YAOJIHAIZIMIANDUITIAOZHANDEJIHUI。“QUANQINGTOURU、KEFUKUNNANDENEIZHONGGAOGUANGSHIKE,NENGTIYANDAOJIJIXINLIXUESUOSHUODEQUANSHENGUANZHU、WUWOLIANGWANG、JIAQINGJIUSHUDE‘XINLIU’ZHUANGTAI,HAIZICAIHUIYOUKEGUMINGXINDETIYAN。ZHEIZHONGZIZHUDETIYANDUIHAIZITAIZHONGYAOLE!”

XINFENG“HAIZIZHIGUANXUEXIJIUXING”DEJIAZHANG,DADUOBAWANGHAIZICHENGWEIXUEBA。DANSHI,YOUXIEXUEBA“CONGLAIMEIYOUWEIZIJIHUOGUO,YECONGLAIMEIYOUHUOGUO”“WODESHIJIECHONGMANMIWU,WANQUANMEIYOUZIWO”“WOYAOHAOHAOXUEXI,WEILEWOMAXUEXI”“WOHUIGUIZHESHANGDIAO,WEILERANGSUOYOURENMANYI”“KAODIYIHENNAN,GENGNANDESHIBAOCHIDIYI”……DANGBEIJINGDAXUEXINLIJIANKANGJIAOYUYUZIXUNZHONGXINFUZHURENXUKAIWENBAYIJUJU“KONGXINBING”HUANZHEDEXINSHENGDAZAIPINGMUSHANGSHI,HUICHANGDEFENWEIBIANDEGEWAICHENZHONGYAYI。

“‘KONGXINBING’DEZAOQIZHENGZHUANGSHIMIMANG,BUZHIDAOZIJISHISHEI,YAOGANSHENME,ERBINGCHENGWANGWANGSHICONGZHONGXIAOXUEKAISHIDE。”XUKAIWENSHUO,ZHEIXIEHAIZIKANQILAISHENMEDOUHENHAO,JIUSHIGANDAOGUDUHEWUYIYI,QUEFAYIYIGANHECUNZAIGAN。“HENDUOSHIJIAZHANGLAOSHIYANZHONGDEGUAIHAIZI、HAOXUESHENG,RENJIGUANXILIANGHAO,DANWANGWANGYOUPINGJIAKONGJU,XUYAOWEIXITARENDUIZIJIDEPINGJIA,YIZHIYUZIWOFOUDING、ZIWOYANE,SHENZHIYOUZISHAQINGXIANG。ZHEIZHONGYIYUZHENGHENNANZHI。”

    积极情绪促乐学,过度控制易“空心”

“JIAOYUSHIYISHU,SHIZUIGUANGFAN、ZUIFUZA、ZUICHONGGAO、ZUIBIYAODEYISHU!YISHUJIUSHIQINGGAN。JIAOYUJIUSHIQINGGAN,SHICHONGMANQINGGANDEYISHUGUOCHENG,QINGGANSHIYOUXIAOXUEXIDEZHONGYAOTIAOJIAN。”SHANGHAISHIFANDAXUEDELUJIAMEIJIAOSHOU,YINCHUANGLI“QINGGANJIAOXUEXINLIXUE”RONGHUOQUANGUOJIAOXUEYIDENGJIANG,TASHENGDONGDISHEWEN:“HAIZIZUOBUCHUTIMU,NIHUISHUO‘LENGJINGXIALAI,HAOHAOXIANGXIANG’,HAISHI‘JIDONG!JIDONGQILAI,HAOHAOKAOLV’?”YUANLAI,XIAOJIQINGGANSHIDUIRENZHIHUODONGDEGANRAO,JIAZHANGRUOBULEJIE,JIUHUICHULIBUTAOHAO。

HAIZIYINGGAIKUXUEHAISHILEXUE?ZAI“MINGSHIDAJIAZHUZHANGLEXUEERLAOBAIXINGBURENKE、GUANGDARENMINQUNZHONGDOUHUIJIAJIHAIZIGAOKUXUEJIAOYU”DEBEIJINGXIA,LUJIAMEIRENWEIKUXUELEXUEZHIBIANSHIZHEXUEZHIZHENG,YINWEI“NENGBUNENGXUE、HUIBUHUIXUE,SHIFOUKEJIESHOU,SHIRENSHIFANCHOUDEWENTI;YAOBUYAOXUE、YUANBUYUANXUE,SHIFOULEYUJIESHOU,SHIQINGGANFANCHOUDEWENTI”。

LUJIAMEIYIKEXUEWEIRENTUYOUYOU“ZHIYAOSHIXIHUANDESHIQING,JIUHUIQUANLIYIFU”WEILI,ZHICHUXUEXIDEKULESHUXINGSHIDANXINGDE,MANZUXUYAOZEYOULEDETIYAN,BUMANZUZEYOUKUDETIYAN。SUOYIJIAOSHIHEJIAZHANGYAOYANJIUHAIZIDEXUYAO,ZHONGSHIBINGFAHUIQINGGANYINSUDEJIJIZUOYONG,CHONGFENDIAODONGXUEXIDEJIJIXING,BANGZHUHAIZIYIKUAILEDEQINGXUXUEXI,“BAXUESHENGDEXINGOUGUOLAI,XUECHUYANJINGFALIANG、TONGKONGFANGDADEGANJUE”。

XUKAIWENRENWEIKONGXINBINGSHIYIZHONGJIAZHIGUANSUOZHIDEJINGSHENZHANGAI,“YUWUZHIXIAOFEIWUZHIJING、GAOSHANGMEIHAODERENBEIWUHUADEXIFANGWENHUABEIJINGYOUGUAN”。TATEBIETIDAOZISHAGEANYUFUMUDEZHIYEDEGUANLIAN,PAIZAIQIANMIANDESHIJIAOSHI、YIHU、GUANLI、ZHIYUAN、GONGREN、KEYAN……GONGLIHUASHIJIAOYUWANGJILECHUXIN,KONGZHIYURANGJIAZHANGJIAOLV、RANGXUESHENGYIYU。“XINLIJIANKANGJIAOYUSHIFUZHENGJIAOYU,YAOCONGWUQIANNIANWENHUAZHONGXUNZHAOFENGFUDEJINGSHENCAIFU,CONGJITIZHUYIZHONGXUNZHAOGAOSHANG、MEIHAO、YOULILIANG、YOUYIYIDEJIJIJIAZHIGUAN,QIUZHEN、SHOUZHENG、XINGSHAN、DEMEI。”XUKAIWENSHUO。

“ZHENGCHANGDEMAMANAIXINDIHUIYINGHAIZI,JIAOLVDEMAMAQIANGPOHAIZIDEZHUYILIZAIZIJISHENSHANG。”HANGUONANSHOUERDAXUEJIAOSHOUZHANGMEIJINGSHUO,HANGUOQINGSHAONIANZISHALVSHIJIEDIYI,ZHUYAOYUANYINJIUSHIJIAZHANGGUODUGUANZHUXUEYE,QINGGANPEIBANBUZU,ERQIECHUXIANLEFUMUDEJINGSHENJIANKANGWENTIYUZINVDEJINGSHENJIANKANGWENTIBINGFADEXIANXIANG。TATICHU,JINGSHENJIANKANGWENTIYAOTONGGUOJIANKANGDEGUANXILAILIAOYU,FUMUYAOGAIBIANGUODUHUOGUOSHAO、BUANHEJINZHANG、FENNUYUDIDUIXING、NVEDAIXINGGANYUDENGYANGYUFANGSHIHETAIDU,XINGCHENG“GONGQING—JIENA”DEQINZIGUANXI。

“YUDAOYIGEBUTINGHUADEHAIZI,TANJICIHUAJIUKEYIGAODINGTA?NIQINGTINGLE、LIJIELE、JIANYILE,ZHEISHIERJIUKEYIJIESHULEMA?”RIBENJINGDOUWENJIAODAXUEJIAOSHOUSENGUKUANZHIRENWEIJIAOYUYIWEIZHE“LIANGGERENXIELIHEZUOHUDONG”,JIAOSHIHEJIAZHANGBUYINGGAISHIJUGAOLINXIADEQUANWEI,YAOYIZHIZHUZIJIDEQUANZHIQUANNENGGAN,ZUO“HAOXIANGBUZIXINDE”DEFAWENZHE,CAINENGZOUJINHAIZIDENEIXIN。

《ZHONGGUOJIAOYUBAO》2019NIAN11YUE21RIDI9BAN 

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